LETTING GO

silvia-njoki-blog

 

Yesterday was a very emotional day for me…

Photography – Charles Ngomo of Royal Reel Photography

It was Nielsine’s very first day at school, and I was anticipating this day with so much joy. A major milestone in both her and my life, and as the day approached I was very focused on the enormous influence which this school, which she will be attending ( hopefully for many years) will have on her life and her personal development. We got up early that morning and had a leisurely breakfast together before I dressed her and packed her school bag. And during our 15 minutes drive there, I could not wait to see what it all would be like, and how she would settle in with her new class mates, two of whom she knew already.
It only took a few minutes before she played quite happily with some toys she was given and didn’t even seem to notice that I had slipped quietly out of the class and was watching her through the windows. During circle time she joined the group singing a few songs, but otherwise looked quite subdued and not her ordinary bubbly self. I was ready to stay and be strong for her, but she never shed a single tear; so after an hour or so of watching her from a distance, I decided that it was OK for me to go home for a while until it was time to pick her up a few hours later.
These were some of the longest three hours in my life. Back home, the house was so quiet without her. And I actually broke down and cried thinking of her forlorn face staring at all these new people in an unfamiliar territory, which I had also caught on my camera. I had expected that she would be the one to cry, but instead it was me who needed to be comforted…

As I picked her up later she hardly noticed me but kept on eating with her new friends, which is how it should be, although on the other hand I felt a short pang of disappointment that she didn’t come rushing to me.

Letting go is hard, and now I know why parents choke up at weddings.

And today, after having left her at the school for the second day, and knowing that she is in good hands, I have put my anxieties to rest and I am super stoked for the future!

These pics were shot during the evening golden hour. Wearing a classic combo that will never go out of style whether you are off or on-duty. A white shirt or top and a pair of denims is without a doubt one of my favorite ways to wear denims, a pairing that I am not letting go of anytime soon …  

Blouse – Thrifted Shoes-Gifted, Denims- Here  Belt – Zara

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  • Newhere

    Aaawww. I know how you feel. Mine started last week. I did not drop her on the first 2 days. I went on the 3rd day and I wept quite some…. i had to quickly excuse myself. My husband was left wondering what the waterworks were about …hehehe. God keep our children safe.

    • Silvia_njoki

      hahah. Men have hearts that are truly made of steel!

      Well, all the best with baby. ♥ Here is to us ! and fun days at school….

  • grace alice Ndiege

    Aaaaaw Silvia Nielsine will be great and so will you. Soon enough you will be fighting over whether her skirts are too short and which boy is not right for her. It’s going to be an adventure really and likely it will be lot’s of fun.

    pisces22.com

    • Silvia_njoki

      hahaha the skirt being too short part made me smile… seeing that I am very liberal. But let’s see…
      Thank you for reading x

  • Woishe! Reading this made me all kinds of nostalgic, my heart even sank to the bottom of the pits! just imagining you crying about Nielsine at home, next time call me(which i guess,will be another first for both of you) we’ll cry together !! I love Kids, I’m probably going to have a hard time with mine! (which is why I’m planning to home school them) i probably sound crazy planning over babies i don’t have yet!. Lovely Piece Silvia♥
    http://www.thestyleballad.com

    • Silvia_njoki

      aawwww hugs you are too sweet xox
      I actually hope next time will be SOON 🙂

  • Eva

    Hang in there Silvia. It gets better with time. And soon second nature. I work from home and have 2 boys 8 and 5 . And boy am I glad they are back in school! Not in a bad way… I love them. But after a month of the noise and craziness. It’s nice to have a quiet time.
    Love love this top. You are truly the thrift queen.

    • Silvia_njoki

      I think my mom felt the same way about my brothers after the holidays ha ha!

  • the fashion engineer

    Awwwww! I so cannot wait to be a mother! Love that top

    Thefashionengineer.com

    • Silvia_njoki

      Bless ! you WILL be.

  • Congratulations on this huge milestone, Silvia!

    It really does get better and both of you will adjust in no time. I am at that point where school resuming means a holiday for me! Two months of Summer Break will do that to you- just you wait 🙂

    • Silvia_njoki

      hahaha… looking forward to that day

  • Soooo bittersweet!But I’m happy she has started school.She’s healthy,and bigger and soon you’ll be dropping her for prom night.The beauty of growth.What a blessing!

    • Silvia_njoki

      I am happy too. It may take a while to fully adjust, but I knew it was coming 🙂

  • Golden hour is the best!!

    Awwww so cute how you cried! Can’t wait to be a mama!!
    http://www.thereelrhee.com

  • Meruti

    White top with jeans…. timeless combo. Looking good. I like your fashion and writing style.