LETTING GO

Yesterday was a very emotional day for me…

Photography – Charles Ngomo of Royal Reel Photography

It was Nielsine’s very first day at school, and I was anticipating this day with so much joy. A major milestone in both her and my life, and as the day approached I was very focused on the enormous influence which this school, which she will be attending ( hopefully for many years) will have on her life and her personal development. We got up early that morning and had a leisurely breakfast together before I dressed her and packed her school bag. And during our 15 minutes drive there, I could not wait to see what it all would be like, and how she would settle in with her new class mates, two of whom she knew already.
It only took a few minutes before she played quite happily with some toys she was given and didn’t even seem to notice that I had slipped quietly out of the class and was watching her through the windows. During circle time she joined the group singing a few songs, but otherwise looked quite subdued and not her ordinary bubbly self. I was ready to stay and be strong for her, but she never shed a single tear; so after an hour or so of watching her from a distance, I decided that it was OK for me to go home for a while until it was time to pick her up a few hours later.
These were some of the longest three hours in my life. Back home, the house was so quiet without her. And I actually broke down and cried thinking of her forlorn face staring at all these new people in an unfamiliar territory, which I had also caught on my camera. I had expected that she would be the one to cry, but instead it was me who needed to be comforted…

As I picked her up later she hardly noticed me but kept on eating with her new friends, which is how it should be, although on the other hand I felt a short pang of disappointment that she didn’t come rushing to me.

Letting go is hard, and now I know why parents choke up at weddings.

And today, after having left her at the school for the second day, and knowing that she is in good hands, I have put my anxieties to rest and I am super stoked for the future!

These pics were shot during the evening golden hour. Wearing a classic combo that will never go out of style whether you are off or on-duty. A white shirt or top and a pair of denims is without a doubt one of my favorite ways to wear denims, a pairing that I am not letting go of anytime soon …  

Blouse – Thrifted Shoes-Gifted, Denims- Here  Belt – Zara